- Ally: Hey.
- Austin: What's up?
- Trish: Okay! You're right on time for the first official team Austin...and team Ally meeting.
- Dez: Our little girl's stepping out on her own. One sec.
- Austin: Ally, it seems like only yesterday we were standing here picking up the pieces of the cello Dez and I broke.
- Ally: That was yesterday. And you still owe me $300 for it.
- Austin: Let's not live in the past. How about we get this meeting started? Who are you gonna talk about first?
- Trish: We've worked out a system for that. Dez is going to shoot a violin bow and drumstick arrow at a target. Observe.
- Dez: And I'll do it blindfolded. So you don't think I'm playing favorites. Let's just talk about Austin first.
- Trish: Austin it is. Austin, you asked me to book rehearsal space, schedule a photo shoot and update your website. I'm happy to report that all those things are officially on my to-do list.
- Austin: Well, I'm officially...
- Trish: (glares)
- Austin: Okay with that.
- Trish: And Ally, I spoke to Jimmy Starr about getting you a record deal. I'm sorry, but he doesn't think it's a good idea to sign you.
- Dez: Well, that no-good hack wouldn't know talent if it hit him over the head!
- Austin: He signed me.
- Dez: That guy knows what he's doing.
- Trish: He thinks Ally's talented. He just doesn't think she and Austin should be signed to the same record label.
- Ally: I guess that makes sense. We shouldn't be competing for Jimmy's attention.
- Austin: I'm really sorry, Ally. We'll come up with something.
- Trish: Already figured it out. I got Ally an audition to perform at a concert, for some other big-name record execs!
- Austin: Oh my God!
- Ally: Yes! Seriously?! That's amazing, Trish!
- Trish: The audition's tomorrow, so be ready to wow them.
- Dez: If you really wanna wow them, you need two things...the best Ally you can be...and a boxing kangaroo!
- Ally: How is that gonna help me with the audition?
- Dez: I don't know. But I guarantee you'll wow them.
- Trish: Wow.
- Austin: Okay, the key to an audition is to have confidence, flavor and swag.
- Ally: I'm not sure what two of those words mean, so I'll focus on the confidence.
- Austin: You walk in the room, pop your collar...
- Ally: Don't have a collar, so just walk in the room.
- Austin: Sing your song, bust out a cool dance move...and leave like you own the place. Oh yeah.
- Ally: So I'll sing, then leave. I don't know, Austin. I think I gotta do this my way. I just have to figure out what to sing.
- Austin: Well, I thought you could sing a song you wrote for me. But I couldn't pick one, so I figured why not sing all of them? Here, look.
- Ally: The audition's only two minutes long.
- Austin: Right, so you gotta do it fast. When you hear the buzzer, switch songs.
- Ally: āŖ And don't look down down. Down down...āŖ
- Austin: (mimics buzzer noise)
- Ally: āŖ I love the things you do... āŖ
- Austin: (mimics buzzer noise)
- Ally: āŖ I can get your heart beat beat beat... āŖ
- Austin: (mimics buzzer noise)
- Ally: āŖ Na na na... āŖ
- Austin: (mimics buzzer noise)
- Ally: āŖ Nobody... āŖ
- Austin: (mimics buzzer noise)
- Ally: Okay, this is ridiculous.
- Austin: Oh, man. Ally's got a lot of competition here.
- Trish: Then I guess it's time to start psyching them out. (coming out of the audition room, to the girls auditioning) Oh! Do not go in there. The producers tore me to shreds. And trust me... I'm brilliant. If I can't make it, none of you have a chance. (to Austin and Dez) And just like that, I'm in their heads.
- Dez: (vocalizes)
- Austin: Sounds good, Dez. But I'm pretty sure they're only auditioning girls.
- Dez: No. Look. (pointing at Glamour Kitty) She's perfect. I'm going in. (to Glamour Kitty) Hydrating? Me too. I find water as one of nature's little gifts. They say to drink six to eight glasses a day... I drink 12. (Glamour Kitty walks away) I love you.
- Ally: (walks out of audition room)
- Trish: Well?
- Dez: Did you get it?
- Austin: How'd it go?
- Ally: I don't know. It felt really good.
- Val: Attention, girls. If I were in charge, I'd pick all of you. Well, that's a lie. I am in charge and I'm only picking one of you. Ally Dawson!
- Ally: Oh! Thanks so much, Val. I can't wait to write a new song for the concert.
- Val: Oh, hon'. That's not necessary. I know you write songs for Austin but, I write all the songs for the group.
- All: Group?
- Ally: Wait, I thought you were looking for a solo performer.
- Val: Nope.
- Trish: Oops.
- Val: Here is your official cat ears, your tail, a flea collar, and some standard release forms. Congrats. You're the third member of The Stray Kitties. Here's Country Kitty.
- Country Kitty: Meow!
- Val: And Glamour Kitty.
- Glamour Kitty: Meow.
- Dez: Me-ow.
- Val: Welcome to the group, girl. Kitties.
- Country Kitty and Glamour Kitty: Meow.
- Val: (dragging Ally into the room) Here, Kitty Kitty. Come on, Kitty. Pretty Kitty, come on. Come on.
- Val: Girls, I give you the newest member of The Stray Kitties. Wicked Kitty!
- Ally: (hisses)
- Glamour Kitty: Val, don't you think her smoky eyes will distract from mine?
- Country Kitty: And too much makeup is my thing.
- Glamour Kitty: I thought your thing was bad dancing?
- Val: Girls! Remember, we're Kitties, not catty. So Ally, what do you think?
- Ally: I don't know. This look isn't who I am at all.
- Val: I know. Isn't it great?!
- Ally: Greaty great great. Anyway Val, I've spent the last four hours in hair and makeup, and no one's even mentioned what song we're singing yet.
- Val: It's not about the song. It's all about the spectacle. Example... our song is called "Pillow Fight". So I am picturing lots and lots... Of feathers! All right. Let's start rehearsing. Uh, the music starts, explosion, explosion, explosion. Lights up and boom... opening poses. Show me! Country Kitty!
- Country Kitty:Meow.
- Val: Yee-haw! Glamour Kitty.
- Glamour Kitty: Meow.
- Val: Oh, so chic. And Wicked Kitty! Give me something fierce!
- Ally: Meow! (hisses)
- Val: We'll fix that later! Now the dancing! Ally, just watch what they do. Music! Whenever you feel comfortable, just join in.
- Ally: Thanks, I really appreciate that.
- Val: Join in!
- Ally: Oh! Um...
- Country Kitty: You're in my spot.
- Ally: Oh, sorry. I didn't know.
- Glamour Kitty: Now you're in my spot.
- Ally: Oh! Oh!
- Val: Pillows! Pillows!
- Ally: (hits Country Kitty)
- Country Kitty: Ow!
- Val: Cut cut!
- Ally: Oh! I am so sorry!
- Country Kitty: Val, this just ain't working. We don't need Wicked Kitty. Why can't it just be the two of us? I'll take center stage, and then Glamour Kitty will be my backup dancer.
- Glamour Kitty: Backup dancer? I think it's obvious who the lead is. Me.
- Country Kitty: No. It's me. Ha! I've always been number one!
- Val: Girls! Girls! We're all stars here. There's no "I" in "Kitties".
- Ally: Actually, there are two.
- Val: And... lunch!
- Dez: Austin, I cracked it!
- Austin: Another cello? We still owe Ally money for the first one we broke.
- Dez: No. Well, yes. I did break another one. But no! I finally came up with a way to win over Glamour Kitty. She's glamorous. So if I'm gonna win her heart, I gotta up my glam factor.
- Austin: What does that mean?
- Dez: Not a clue.
- Austin: If you wanna win her over, you gotta have swagger. You gotta be suave.
- Dez: Teach me your ways.
- Austin: Watch The Master. (handing a girl a straw) Looking for something?
- Dez: I can do that. (handing a girl a straw) Looking for something? (struggles and spills the drink on her head) I think they give free refills.
- Austin: You know what? I have a better idea to win over Glamour Kitty. Just dress nice and buy her something expensive. And stay away from straws.
- Dez: Bonjour, Mademoiselle.
- Glamour Kitty: Who are you?
- Dez: The better question is... Whom aren't I?
- Glamour Kitty: I don't understand.
- Dez: The name's Dez. Just Dez.
- Glamour Kitty: Well, just Dez, you can call me Glamour Kitty.
- Dez: I don't have much time. I have a lot of important, mysterious business to attend to. But I wanted to say, I've seen you around... And I like what I see.
- Glamour Kitty: Oh, really?
- Dez: Do you see anything... (opens gift box) You like?
- Glamour Kitty: Me-ow.
- Dez: There's a gift receipt in the box... If you wanna exchange it.
- The Stray Kitties: āŖ Meow ow ow. āŖ
- Ally: āŖ That spells pillow fight. āŖ
- The Stray Kitties: āŖ No no no no. Boys allowed. āŖ
- Glamour Kitty: āŖ I'll hit you with my goose down pillow. āŖ
- The Stray Kitties: āŖ Yeah yeah yeah! We'll be super loud. āŖ
- Country Kitty: āŖ My cactus pillow will make you say "ow". āŖ
- Glamour Kitty: āŖ Oh oh oh. All the issues will work out. āŖ
- Ally: āŖ I'll smack your face. With my leather pillowcase. āŖ
- Val: Bravo, Kitties! Bravo! Oh!
- Ally: That was horrible, right?
- Trish: It wasn't that bad. It was nice and loud.
- Austin: Your lips are all... dark?
- Dez: Glamour Kitty had her moments.
- Ally: Oh! It stunk! What am I gonna do?
- Trish: You gotta quit.
- Ally: But I've never quit anything. I filled in for my grandma's bowling team three years ago, and I still go to the weekly games.
- Austin: You can't go up in front of all those record execs like this.
- Ally: I know. I gotta tell Val I'm leaving The Stray Kitties.
- Val: Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm-mm. No one leaves The Stray Kitties. You're gonna be wearing a tail for the next five years.
- Ally: What?!
- Val: Well, perhaps your manager should have read the fine print before you signed this.
- Trish: What, nobody reads the fine print. It's like reading the employee handbook when you get a new job.
- Dez: Yeah!
- Ally: But I don't wanna be a part of this. You're not really gonna make me do something I don't wanna do. Are you?
- Val: Mm. I can make you do whatever I want. According to this contract, I own you.
- Ally: Trish.
- Austin: (takes contract and rips it up) What contract?
- Val: Sweetie, I have six more copies at home, a copy on my computer and I've already faxed a copy to my lawyer.
- Austin: Yeah? Well, we're not cleaning up that mess.
- Ally: (picking up pieces of paper)
- Austin: Ally!
- Ally: Sorry. Habit. Oh!
- Val: See you at the show! And every show for the next five years... Wicked Kitty. (laughs)
- Trish: Ally, I feel terrible. As your manager, I should have read that contract more closely... Or at all.
- Dez: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Glamour Kitty agreed to go on a date with me next week.
- Trish: Why would that make me feel better?
- Dez: I don't know. Made me feel pretty good.
- Ally: What am I supposed to do? I can't break that contract. It's against the law. Do you know what they do to Kitties like me in the pound?
- Austin: Ally, you're not giving up on this opportunity.
- Ally: So you think I should perform with The Stray Kitties?
- Austin: No. We're gonna get you out of that contract, and you're gonna sing solo tonight. We just need to figure out a way to distract the other Kitties.
- Dez: I'm way ahead of you. My cat loves this thing. (shakes cat toy) Here, Glamour Kitty. Here, Glamour Kitty. Get the little ball.
- Trish: Give me that.
- Dez: Hey!
- Trish: You know they're not actually cats, right? That's never going to work. Austin!
- Austin: Sorry.
- Trish: Okay, while Austin's taking care of the Kitties, we need to come up with a plan to get Ally out of her contract. You got anything?
- Dez: I had a cat toy on a stick, but someone took it away from me.
- Trish: Forget the cat toy!
- Dez: Check it out. Those tulips set me back a pretty penny. But Glamour Kitty's worth it.
- Trish: That's it. You just gave me an idea to get Ally out of the group.
- Dez: Ah! I see where you're going with this.
- Trish: You do?
- Dez: Totally.
- Trish: Really?
- Dez: Yeah. But maybe you should say it out loud first.
- Trish: Just follow me.
- Country Kitty: Be honest. Do you think that my fake eyelashes look too fake?
- Glamour Kitty: No. Just fake enough. (both laugh)
- Country Kitty: We are gonna kill it tonight.
- Glamour Kitty: If that Ally doesn't ruin it.
- Country Kitty: I know, she does not have a talented bone in her body.
- Austin: Hey, Kitties.
- Both: Hey, Austin Moon.
- Country Kitty: We were just talking about how talented your friend Ally's bones are.
- Glamour Kitty: Where is Ally?
- Austin: Oh. You didn't hear. Val wanted her to have a special entrance. She's gonna crawl out of a trap door center stage and start the show.
- Country Kitty: Whoa, hold up. Why does Ally get a special entrance?
- Glamour Kitty: Yeah.
- Austin: Val says she's the star of the group.
- Glamour Kitty: She's not the star of the group, I am! And if Ally's getting a special entrance, so am I.
- Country Kitty: Well, so am I.
- Austin: All right. If you say so.
- Glamour Kitty: What's he doing?
- Austin: This... stage tunnel... leads directly underneath the stage.
- Both: It does?
- Austin: Oh, yeah. I've played this club before. Makes a great entrance. Take it all the way to the end, and then pop up.
- Country Kitty: Me first!
- Glamour Kitty: Out of my way!
- Country Kitty: Ooh!
- Trish: Val, we got these for you to apologize for our behavior. Ally's my best friend, so I'm a little protective. But I know you're gonna do great things for her.
- Val: Well, I'm glad you finally came to your senses. Thank you. Although, next time, I'd prefer muffins. (walks away)
- Dez: Wait, so instead of getting Ally out of The Stray Kitties, we got Val flowers? And how come I have to pay for those?
- Trish: It's all a part of my plan. Don't forget to tip.
- Val: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for coming! As I've proven over the years, it takes talent to know talent. And no one is more talented than me! Oh, and these girls. Please welcome The Stray Kitties!
- Austin: There's been a slight change of plans. The Stray Kitties aren't performing tonight.
- Ally: I am. Hey, everybody. I'm Ally Dawson.
- Val: What's going on? Where are my Stray Kitties?
- Dez: I guess they strayed.
- Val: She can't perform by herself. That's not in the contract.
- Trish: It might not be in your contract, but it's in ours.
- Val: What is this ridiculousness?
- Trish: Looks like you should have read the fine print when you signed for those flowers. As you can see, our new contract makes yours null and void.
- Val: (rips up the contract) Ha! What contract?
- Trish: Oh, Sweetie. I've already made a dozen copies, scanned it in my computer and faxed one to Dez's mom.
- Val: Your mom's a lawyer?
- Dez: Nope, but she watched a lot of that "Judge Jody" show.
- Val: Oh!
- Austin and Dez: What up?!
- Austin: I can't believe how awesome you were.
- Ally: I couldn't have done it without you guys. Thank you so much.
- Dez: You crushed it.
- Trish: A bunch of record execs wanna meet you. Look at all these business cards. Well, some of these are feathers. But still!
- Ally: That's amazing! Wait. So what happened to the other Kitties?
- Country and Glamour Kitty: Meow!
- Dez: Sorry you didn't get a chance to perform tonight. How about I... Make it up to you? After our dinner at the Chateau Nouveau, I'll take you on a carriage ride under the stars.
- Glamour Kitty: Ugh, enough! The diamonds, the flowers, the fancy dinners, it's all too much.
- Dez: But you're Glamour Kitty. I thought this is... what you like.
- Glamour Kitty: That's just my character. I'm not glamorous. I eat pizza, wear fun clothes and watch "Zalien" movies.
- Dez: Zalien!
- Glamour Kitty: I appreciate the gestures, Dez. But we're just not right for each other.
- Dez: What?! No!
- Glamour Kitty: I mean you're so sophisticated. Sorry Dez, it's just not going to work.
- Dez: She's right. We're from two different worlds. Wait, no we're not. Come back!
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