Crybabies & Cologne/Transcript

Crybabies & Cologne
Interior. Sonic Boom.
Austin:	I am Austimus!
Dez:	I am Dezimus!
Austin:	And I...
Ally:	Am putting these away-imus. Before they break-imus, because... Trust me, you cannot afford-imus.
Dez:	Wow! You speak really good Gladiator.
Trish:	Guess who got a job at the Mall customer service.
Ally:	Congrats. What do you have to do?
Trish:	I have to take calls from angry customers complaining about bad service. (rings) Mall customer service. Oh, I'm sorry that salespeople always keep you waiting. Please hold.
Austin:	Who do they call when they want to complain about you?
Trish:	Me. That's the beauty of this job. How's the new song coming?
Ally:	It still needs a lot of work. We don't have a second verse...
Trish:	Great, because I just booked Austin on "The Wanda Watson Show" this week.
Austin:	That's awesome, Trish!
Dez:	"Wanda Watson's" my favorite talk show. Last week she and Tom Hanks made gift bags out of old socks.
Ally:	Ew! Hey, Trish, jerk alert. Your ex-boyfriend just walked in.
Trent:	Hey, guys. Hey, Trish.
Trish:	Trent, for the last time, I'm tired of listening to your apologies.
Trent:	Well, then you don't have to listen. Just read.
Trish:	"I'm"... "Sorry"... "That"... Okay, this is gonna take forever.
Trent:	Okay, wait, please. Just read it.
Trish:	"I pretended to be your boyfriend just to become Austin's backup dancer and that I had another girlfriend the entire time and"... This is ridiculous.
Ally:	And why should Trish accept your T-shirt apology? Sure, it's clever and adorable and sweet and kind of romantic.
Trish:	Ally.
Ally:	Yeah.
Trent:	Look, okay, the point is I'm sorry. So what do you say? Will you wear this "apology accepted" hoodie?
Trish:	Does that answer your question?
Austin:	Trent, get your T-shirts and your hoodie and get outta here.
Dez:	Yeah, get your T-shirts and get out of here.
Theme song.
Interior. Sonic Boom. Practice room.
Austin:	Whatever it is I've got it. Don't know what to call it. There's no way to hide it. Yeah, I've got it too. Whatever it is I've got it. Don't know what to call it. There's no way around it. Yeah, I've got it too. Whoa! Yeah, I've got it too. Whoa! Girl you've got it too. Whoa! Yeah, I've got it too. Whoa! Girl you've got it too. Whoa! Man, another great song, Ally. You're the best songwriter in the biz.
Ally:	I wouldn't say I'm the best, but you can.
Trent:	I'll say it. That song is great.
Austin:	Trent, how long have you been standing there?
Trent:	Long enough to know that that is a great song. Look, I know there are no shortcuts to making it. So I was hoping Ally would write me a song to make me an overnight sensation.
Ally:	Why would I help you? You hurt my best friend.
Austin:	Yeah, buh-bye.
Trent:	I said I was sorry. Don't you believe in second chances?
Ally:	Of course I do.
Austin:	Well, I don't. So again, buh-bye.
Ally:	Austin, I gave you a second chance when you kind of stole my song.
Trent:	Austin stole your song?
Austin:	She said "kind of". It was an accident.
Ally:	And I'm glad I forgave you because look how awesome it turned out.
Austin:	It turned out awesome because I'm awesome-us. But he's jerk-imus.
Ally:	I believe everyone's born with a seed of goodness, and if you water it with kindness and trust, it will blossom into something beautiful.
Austin:	Huh. I never thought of it like that.
Trent:	You guys are really inspiring. In fact, I don't even need your help anymore, Ally. A song just came to me. Thanks.
Ally:	See what just happened there? Austin, I think we made a difference today.
Exterior. Food court.
Austin:	Hey, Trish, what are...
Trish:	Excuse me. Mall customer service, what's your complaint? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, I can assure you, Trish from the nail salon was fired last week.
Dez:	So, Trish, as you know, since Austin became famous, he and I have been working on his line of celebrity products. Austin cell phone case. Austin disposable wipes. Austin toothbrush.
Exterior. Food court.
Austin:	Electric and manual.
Dez:	But we're still trying to perfect Austin's signature fragrance. We call this one "manly".
Trish:	Hmm. Oh! It smells like nacho cheese and dirty socks.
Austin:	Exactly! The two most manly smells we could think of.
Trish:	Ew. What else you got?
Dez:	Check out this sweet puppy.
Trish:	Ew! It smells like honey and wet dog.
Dez:	Exactly, that's why we call it "sweet puppy".
Austin and Dez:	What up?!
Trish:	Come on, Austin. We have some important business to take care of.
Austin:	Let me guess. You want me to sing to the girl at Zinga Juice, so you can get a free smoothie.
Trish:	No, I want you to sing to the girl at the movie theater, so I can get some free tickets. Let's go.
Trent:	Hello, Dez.
Dez:	Ooh. Uh... I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you.
Trent:	I just want to say, after Austin, Ally, and Trish, you are the most important person on team Austin.
Dez:	Why, thank you.
Trent:	You're welcome, and I think you're an amazing director. I love what you did in this video.
Music video:	They wanna know-know-know your name-name-name. They want the girl-girl-girl...
Dez:	Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. There weren't really five Austins.
Trent:	No. So how'd you get the effect?
Dez:	I'm not just gonna tell you my secret technique. You never know who might be listening. I'll whisper it to you.