Board Thread:Social/@comment-4720436-20121202205009/@comment-4146635-20130228024124

Ok guys so I need advice! Like this is urgent!

I have a lot but I'll start with this:

Ok so at my school, we're doing the musical Into the Woods for our school play. Let's just say, to para phrase it, there was a lot of drama with auditions. People didn't get the roles they wanted and people were mad. Soon the director talked to us all and things were cleared up, a little. I really wanted to get the role of The Baker or Jack, the two lead guy roles. But the problem is, Jack has to be a little boy and my voice is too deep for Jack and I'm too tall. I couldn't be The Baker because, well, apparently bakers are heavy (fat to be more straight forward...but that's mean :P) and I'm too skinny to be The Baker. So I didn't get to read/audition for either role, which really ticked me off. Instead I got the role of Cinderella's Prince which is a good role but still not as good as what I really could do. The director told us times and times again she had to typecast (which is to cast based on not just acting/singing but also appearance). And she did. So once I understood why I couldn't read for those parts I was fine.

But then....last Saturday we were at rehearsal. My friend Carlos got the role of The Baker and I must say, he fits the description pretty well. But at rehearsal, I was watching him act and sing and I just couldn't get over the fact that I could play that role SO much better than him! I really hate to be cocky but it made me feel so bad watching it and not being able to do anything about it! And Carlos thinks he's so cool now because he got that part and I just want to say to him "you know you didn't get it because you were the best actor right?". But I didn't. Instead, I told my friend Josh, just to let out my anger, "Carlos didn't deserve The Baker and he only got it because he's fat. I don't mean to be mean but it's true". And I may or may not have told a few other of my friends. Just to let it out! I know some of you may think I'm this horrible person now :( but it's just.....I feel so bad :'(......anyway, it kind of got around and then Josh rudely told Carlos what I said! But he changed it so that it seemed like I said "Carlos didn't deserve The Baker and he only got it for certain reasons", which actually is better. But then today, I was talking to Carlos (hes been mad at me since Monday and I never knew why until now) and he told me what Josh said. So then we talked to Josh and he was trying to get us to make up. So then Josh tried to get me to admit and I did. But then Josh told him what I ACTUALLY said....the fat part. And omg......the look on Carlos' face.......he said "You said I only got The Baker because I'm fat?" and he looked so sad and so hurt and so mad and I just felt so bad......:'( And then I went inside to get away from him. I was kinda scared. But um then we stopped talking and then he left. And then I left. I felt so bad.....it was one of the meanest things EVER. Like I don't know why I ever would tell anyone that.  I felt like such a terrible person and I still do. :'( I really want to cry. I don't know if we'll ever be friends again. This is ALL my fault. And even if I say sorry, that won't change the way Carlos thinks. Just like everyone else would do, I'm sure he'd constantly think "Did I get The Baker because I'm fat?" and it'll make him feel bad. Because that stuff really hurts and it sticks with you for a long time. So I really need advice. Someone please help me :(