User blog:CheetahGirlXo/The Most Crappiest Year Ever!

Intro: Okay before you read this blog there are some warnings.
Before you read:

~I'm writing this for advice what to do so please leave a comment below if you have any ideas to help me

 ~Personal experiences (Please do not comment that its none of our buisness. If you don't want to read it, then don't read it.)

~Depression (It will be mostly sad stuff. So please keep that in mind)

''Okay so here's the actual blog. I've been caught up in the past a lot recently.''

My favorite year in all time is 5th grade. Yeah most people would say that's the worst year in that life or say "Damn, fifth grade? Seriously?" Yeah well that was my best year.

Fifth grade brought a lot of surprises for me. I wasn't one of those popular girls who had tight friends in school. I had friends but they weren't that close to me. The first day of fifth grade was a blast. Okay here's the thing with my town. K-4th grade is elementary school (lower) and 5-6 is upper elementary and 7-8 is junior high. 9-12 is high school. So the upper elementary school was very huge compared to my lower elementary school. I was lost a lot of times. Even if the teachers there was helping me it took me a week to get this school's map's memorized. I was 10 years old so I had a little trouble knowing where things were. So when I actually found the classroom, I was worried that a bunch of kids would already have there tight friends and it will be hard to make friends.

Truth was that I wasn't expecting a group of scared kids wondering what to do. I thought I was alone. I made friends the 2nd day. During lunch I asked a group of girls, (now popular) to sit with them, they were super nice and said sure. I met a lot of people. I even got to know the popular girls which they are now better. I had 5 close friends at my lunch table. Camille, Shannon, Emily, Jess, and Loren. I also got to know the guys a little bit. Let me just tell you, they are pretty interesting to know lol.

I also had my first real crush that year. His name was Austin. Now all of you are probably like why did you say his name he'll look at this. But no, he's not a fan of austin and ally. I doubt he knows about this wiki. So yeah. He is exactly like me like legit. We both are naturally good at music, good at learning sports but super bad at running, best reactions, funny, same opinion about everything literally, we both are hated by the same teacher, very friendly but this is the scary thing. Our birthdays 6 days apart (i'm older, yeah sad right?) we're both capricorn born in january, we're both always need a person there to guide us, and we pick things up quickly in math and science and social studies. Bad at grammar in language arts.

Also one more thing, this is the twister, we haven't talked in 3 years and I really want to talk to him but I can't. I'm too scared. I have so much oppurtunity though. He's in the algebra classroom when me and my friend (also his friend) walks out of the same classroom.

Anyways moving on, then I was really excited for 6th grade because in 5th grade there was so much parties I was invited to and so many fun things in 5th grade. But unfortunately I was with the stereotypical sluts and hoes.

They weren't nice at all. And I met one of the biggest bitches ever. I can't believe i call her my best friend once. She always made me feel like I was worse than her. She acted like she was hot shit and all that. She said she got straight a's in school and she was so good at the violin and better than some people. She always said she had friends over the weekend. Well the straight a's were true but she never had that many friends. She has like 6. Like 3 close friends. I always had to lie about my grades. She made my grades drop and I had to say that i got straight a's but truth was i got straight b's. I know I can do better than that. I got straight a's in 3rd marking period:) For the first time since I met her. I ended it kinda. The problem is that I got attached to her. I can't stop talking to her. She treats me like crap now and its hell for me.

She always is awkward and she is always criticising me more. She has no idea how much it hurts. My years are going up and down. But I need confidence to make friends again. I need help. I was really depressed in 6th grade. In my planner I wrote this: '''This year was hell. What happened to me? I was so confident with friends? Why am I like this? 6th grade will finally be over and no more tears overnight and no more sleepless nights!''' In fact I still have that planner.

The "best friend" asked me I made it better didn't I? In my head, "Bitch, no you didn't. I turned into you. I'm not confident no more. Look at me even my grammar is wrong." Outside, "I feel this way because of the slut yeah!" This lying continued for 7th grade, and half of 8th grade. Finally i got closer to this girl she hated. Yeah she went so low to hate someone who did nothing to her except she did a shitload to her. She is such a sweetheart. She is trying to help me get back up from where I left. But, I have to apologize to her for something. I can't stop talking to my ex best friend. Its like I'm addicted to her and I can't stop hearing all this crap about me. Criticising by my "friend" I thought that was normal. I totally forgot what a true friend is. This girl I started to get closer to her is now my true best friend. I used to think a definition of best friend was, "Meaningly teasing each other, correcting you, always saying that this is right, controlling you." I know what it is now, "Always will be there for you, friendly, always stand up for you, funny and cheer you up, NEVER correct you." I found out that was wrong.

Now here I am today a month later. My ex best friend is still correcting me, trying to figure out how to talk to austin, get more friends and etc. I still cry every night. What do I do? I know that was really deep. But it's true. Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment for advice!